How can I NOT paint?

I asked myself recently: if I had one month to live, what would I regret not doing? Well, I might regret not traveling more. Certainly, there are many places that I would love to see and many places that I haven't been. But travel is limited by funds and I know that funds are not endless. I'm lucky to have been to as many places as I have been.
Would I regret things that I've said or haven't said? Not really. I've worked hard on my relationships, made amends and realize that some of them may improve, some of them may never get any better and will never live up to my ideals.
The thing that I would regret the most is not painting more. I majored in painting in college (SUNY Binghamton, BFA, 1993) and have never again had such a way to explore, think and intuitively understand things about the world that I could not get to in any other way. Different from prayer, meditation, reading, discussion, thinking, exercise and work. I have become very practical: I have 2 Etsy shops and am working to pay off my library school student loans with them. I'm also a mom, with lots of responsibilities that I take seriously. I'm a deacon at our church and have coffee to prepare and picnics to plan. But, how can I neglect painting? I think it's time to begin again...

Starting school

So, my kids have started school and I have a full seven hours to devote to my own work! Of course, I need to walk/run with the dog, do laundry, etc. The rest of the time can be devoted to creating and seeing what I can do with some uninterrupted time to take pictures and add them to my Etsy and 1000 Markets shops.

When I see my son's crayons and paper out on the kitchen table, I do have a pang of missing him, but I know that we still have our evenings and weekends. What I am grateful about is that I have devoted the better part of the last 10 years to caring for my kids, teaching them, taking them to the zoo, the science museum, the library and the park. I am left with no regrets that I didn't spend enough time with them. So, even though I feel a little lonely without my sweethearts here, I am going to make the most of the time that I have and create. I've posted two new photos that I made this week with many more to come.

studio makeover phase 1

These are my "before" pictures (thank goodness, right?!). I am remodeling my "studio" space to be a mini-studio for taking photos. I have bought a new set of lights (they are en route), a fresh, new roll of seamless white paper and am gearing up to recreate the space. As you can see, the walls are black. We painted them black a few years back because this was my darkroom where I used to hand-print black-and-white wedding and portrait photos. A few years later, I decided to get back into painting with oils and made a few landscapes in this space. I haven't made a new painting in a year and have some unfinished ones here. Now, because of the work that I've been getting through Etsy, my real need for the space is to create a mini-studio. I've been using part of my daughter's room and a roll of big, white paper on her floor to make my photos. What I would like is a more permanent space, where I can leave the paper set up and continue work easily from one day to the next. I also would like for my work hours not to be limited by her bedtimes! So, this is phase 1. More to come !

What Nourishes You?

I ask you this because I love to hear responses to things I post. I'm so interested in what truly works for you in your life.

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately. I used to be able to get away with offering myself junk food, little sleep, no prayer, no time walking in the woods. In short, I have sometimes lived a spiritually and even physically impoverished life. I can only get away with that for so long before I find that my need manifests itself in other ways.

I just left a very part-time job that I had a lot invested in emotionally. I wanted so much for it to be something that it wasn't and wasn't going to be. It was a job of deprivation. I would walk in and feel a wave of fatigue wash over me. I would try to ignore that this job was never going to be what I wanted it to be and even what it needed to be, but that was always there. So, I left.

So, what nourishes you? Because you have to answer the question sooner or later. You can pretend to be cool, pretend to not desire something deeper, better, more, but the need will be there. I will answer for myself. What nourishes me: time with my family, time in the woods, on a beach, with a paintbrush or a camera exploring, time to pray, meditate, read, time to explore a library, dig in the dirt, to knead dough.

It is not so hard to be fed, but to let go of things that don't feed you can sometimes be hard. I've let go and will see what's next.

photo/text: (c)Jennifer Dennis Potter

I am enjoying a wonderful book called The Forest Lover by Susan Vreeland. It's about a Canadian woman in the early 20th c. who is a painter. She has Native Canadian friends and paints Native Canadian themes, which alienates her from her Victorian sisters and most of the people who show up to and critique her art shows. She isn't rewarded for her work until fairly late in life and by that time she has almost given up hope that anyone will respond to her work.
I respond to this book in a very personal way. I love painting, drawing and photography. I also share the protagonist's deep love of the forest and being in the woods (but don't envy her the mosquito bites that she gets in the far north). It's reminding me that no matter how practical I try to be, the deep desire to create will still be there and will keep asking me to answer that call.

Angelo Ippolito

I found a Facebook group today called "In memory of Angelo Ippolito" and I had to join. Angelo Ippolito was my adviser at Binghamton University in the early 90's when I was an art student. He was an abstract expressionist, made wonderful assemblage sculptures which he called "jaw-jooz" that were fun and witty. He helped me to laugh about art and to take it seriously. He was an elegant gentleman who was always impeccably dressed.

The most important thing that Angelo taught me was to always play. That art making was about play. The way a jazz musician needs to keep improvising and finding the next note, the way a child needs to make up a game as she goes along. If you stopped playing, you would just steal the life from the art work and just end up with a dull piece. That can't happen without taking risks. He told me that if you had a painting that came easily, that is because the 20 before it were difficult. You payed for it, you had already paved the way. Angelo was one of the first people who ever took me or what I had to offer the world seriously, and I loved him dearly for it.

Fairy Tales

I've been working through some ideas about fairy tales lately in my photography beginning with Little Red Riding Hood. I started with this image of Red and the shot of the wolf alone. Now I am planning to get more elaborate with designing the image. One of my great dreams is to create a children's book. I've decided to work out some book ideas and give myself a challenge by creating a sequence of shots, kind of "storyboarding" my way through the story. Some of the photos would be a shot of Red Riding Hood and her mother, one with the wolf, with her "grandmother" and so on. This is another fun project that both of my children have had good ideas for. Trees are tough because either they are very large, or they look pretty fake, like model railroad trees, so I'm not sure what to do for them (make your own?). Well, one of the things I've realized is that projects change as you work them out and often art can be a series of creative problems that you work out as you go along.
(c)2008, all images copyrighted by Jennifer Dennis Potter